By: Rooty Poot

Girls…sorry for the length but I had some thoughts and I didn’t comment on last week’s ep.

As you’ve said Carmen, it is obvious to anyone or anything that has a pulse that Idina still has feelings for Hattie. In the beginning, she might’ve been oblivious to Idina’s feeling but Hattie knows she has an in now which she exploits, not in a malicious way but she’s still using Idina. Not saying that Idina doesn’t play her part because she is the one who keeps inviting Hattie back into her orbit. Interesting how their relationship is somewhat parallel to the one that Hattie has/had with Ida except the roles are reversed. Idina wants more from Hattie, but Hattie is comfortable with how things are. Hattie wants more from Ida, but Ida is comfortable with how things are.

Oh yes, then there’s Ida. I know Hattie is setting boundaries for herself but again to me there is some selfishness on her part in not realizing that she is dating someone of a different generation and as such the worlds they grew up in and how that’s shaped their lives are bound to be different. Ida is likely in her late 40s. As such her fears about coming out are deep seated. Think about it…she grew up in the 80s during the intro of AIDS which gave the straight and religious communities license to demonize the entire gay community. The 90s had Matthew Shephard-like cases. The much older woman I dated in my 20s would tell me about the things she saw and heard growing up and it really opened my eyes as to why she was reluctant to own her gayness. A young dark skinned butch out lesbian in today’s world doesn’t experience discrimination the way a light skinned black lesbian would in the 90s and early 2000s especially if they were trying to navigate the entertainment industry like Ida likely was. Home girl had to hide just to be seen. So, in the span of a few months Ida was just supposed to forget everything that she’d been indoctrinated with (much of it likely self-inflicted as a form of self-preservation) to be in an undefined relationship with someone who is only self-assured in her gayness but has very little awareness or direction when it comes to everything else in her life? Hattie has been given opportunity and allowance and understanding to screw things up over and over and over until she gets it right (even with Ida) and here is Ida who is so self-assured when it comes to everything in her life except being out about her sexuality and she’s gotten how many chances? I would’ve applauded Hattie for setting boundaries and breaking it off if she had acknowledged Ida’s fears, been more empathetic to them, and maybe helped/encouraged her. If after that there was no meaningful progress and she walked away, cool. Instead, she laid down ultimatums then bounced.

I still love the show and I still love Hattie but dang if she were my friend (there could never be more than that regardless of how sexy she is…your girl knows how to shut shit down), we would be having some TALK talks.