By: SpicyTofu1994

To Question #1 - definitely DEFINITELY get in touch with an immigration lawyer. My wife and I got some really good guidance about how to navigate the visa/green card process that we would have been totally lost without! (I.e., getting married can invalidate certain visas that a non-citizen might be on, because those visas are premised on their stay being impermanent.) This is one of those areas that you definitely don't want to freestyle, as small mistakes can have big ramifications. We decided to get married at around the same point in our relationship, after Roe was overturned, thinking that it would be prudent to at least get a green card application through the initial approval stage in the event that the federal right to get married went away the following term, or soon later. (We live in a state that would keep gay marriage, but... states don't issue green cards!) My only other advice is to try not to feel too much pressure around what you do here, whether that's pressure around how much to involve your family, or even just whether to get married in the first place. These are huge decisions, and it's easy to get caught up in the fear of the political climate, or around expectations of how family should be included, and just try to stay centered around the idea of what YOU want, in every respect. I am so, so happy that my wife and I are married, and we have been very lucky in how things have turned out for us, but that was not the only possible outcome. It's just not ideal to be in a situation where you feel like you need to do the 21st century queer version of a shotgun marriage. You may feel rushed, justifiably so, and cornered because circumstances are threatening the longevity of your relationship with the person you love, and that does not always lead people to the same decisions that they would make when they are not under that kind of duress. I'm not suggesting you haven't thought this through - I'm just saying that as someone who's been there, make sure to at some point take a step back and make sure that you are holding plenty of space for that reflection to take place.