By: Andy

I really love this article, thank you for writing it! The only sticking point for me is that of course realizing you don’t have the capacity to help is totally ok, but pulling out the day (or week, honestly) before surgery because of that realization (rather than a change of circumstances outside your control) doesn’t feel ok. Before deciding to be a caregiver for a procedure, a chosen family member needs to check in with themself about their emotional capacity to do so well in advance, since these procedures + insurance approvals need to be planned months in advance. I agree that we do need to care for ourselves first and foremost, but I think it’s also important to be mindful enough about our capacities when we make these agreements to begin with so we can honor our commitments to our loved from when they are in need.